Tuesday, April 21, 2009


In one, I was removing needles from myself. I don't know how they got there, but it hurt like hell. Very vivid. I can remember the pinch of pain as I yanked these things out of my muscles and skin. There must have been hundreds of them. It went on forever. It still hurt hours after I woke up.

In another, I was sitting on a street corner somewhere starving. I was afraid to get up and find food. I'm not sure what I was afraid of, but the terror was more real than I care to think about now. I was wasting away, and too frightened to do anything about it. Jack Rabbit kept yelling at me, but I just laid there and shook like a fever victim.

The last one was the worst, and I can't really tell if it was a dream or not. I forgot how to disable Twitter and my phone kept chirping every ten minutes all night long. I kept smashing my phone against the wall, throwing it outside, flushing it down the toilet and a few minutes later, it would return, good as new. I shoved forks in my ears and beat my head against the brick in the basement, screaming until my throat bled. Nothing would make the chirping stop. Nothing.

I haven't slept for two nights. Something has got to give.