The Broad Street Piñata
Sunday, they will be blasting open the worlds largest piñata all over Broad & Washington.
Okay, here's how I see this going....
They lift the piñata high up above the street. Half the kids from west of Broad Street haven't eaten all day. You can see it in their eyes as they stare ravenously at the giant, teasing monstrosity of sugar.
The piñata falls and breaks onto the street. Candy billows out, showering the waiting crowd.
The children descend, but they aren't children anymore. They rip each other to pieces, trying to grab every last necco wafer. At least 500 need to be identified by dental records. None of the kids from west of Broad Street have ever been to a dentist.
Election day comes two days later. Most people in the city are too grief-stricken to remember to vote.
McCain takes Pennsylvania by a narrow margin, giving him just enough electoral votes to win.
China, North Korea, Iran and most of Europe declare pre-emptive wars against the United States, rather than wait for McCain to start wars with them.
McCain, unable to take the pressure, OD's on some of his wife's barbiturates.
Dick Cheney comes out of hibernation to groom Sarah Palin for her new job.
A new Dark Age is born.
3 hours ago